Jokes and Quotes...

Hey guys, i dunno wat to type so ya, i guess i'll type some jokes and quotes juz to fill up my post quotas...

Here goes, the joke of the day...

Little Ace was 7 years old and like other boys of his age, rather curious about courting girls from other boys after hearing quite a bit about it from other older boys. He wondered what it was like and how it was done.

One Day, he took his questions to his mom and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Ace, because it was troublesome and lengthy, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did, and the following morning, Ace described everything to his mom:

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her. I figured sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a doctor would. Except he's not as good as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.

He was getting sick too because pretty soon, both of them started panting and getting out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got towards the end of the couch. This was when the fever started.

I know it was a fever because sis told him she was really HOT. Finally, i found out what was making them so sick. There was a big eel that had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 9 inches long. HONEST!!!

Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she got really scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. I should tell her about the ones i saw at the lake!!

Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by bitting its head off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go, i guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.

Sis laid back and spread her legs so that she could get a scissor lock on it and he helped by layin on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishin it between them.

After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and sure enough they killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it juz hung dere limp and some of it's insides were hangin out. Sis n her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again... And by golly, the eel wasnt dead after all!!!

It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats, havin nice lives or something... This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because i saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet."

After hearing, his mom fainted...

Hoped u enjoyed the joke... hahaha...

Quote of the day: The Only Real Failure in Life is the Failure to Try...