Disappointed in myself...

Hi guys~ I feel so lousy n disappointed in myself for a few reasons...

Firstly, I broke my diet by eating lots of spoons of ice cream at nite for 2 seperate nites... I couldn't resist e temptation man, I juz couldn't... N I feel so bad abt it... I noe I shldn't hav indulge too much but I juz couldn't resist...

E 1st nite was tt nite at Island Creamery... I had a choice to choose whether to eat or to jux try e flavors... But I chose to eat rather den to try e flavors... Den e other nite was at Hm when I suddenly had e urge to eat the Ben n Jerry ice-cream at Hm... It's my favorite flavor, chocolate chip n dough... How can I resist??? Sob sob...

But I controlled myself though, I dug up e dough to eat only... Haha... Leaving e rest of e vanilla ice cream behind... Haha... I noe it's inappropriate but haha, desperate measures...

But it was nice... I didn't regret eatin it... It's juz tt u noe, I juz feel guilty after tt... I hope e fats doesn't get stored in my body again after I tried rather hard to get rid of it... Obviously not hard enuff... Lowerin e fat % is no joke man, it juz doesn't drop... N e maddenin thing is tt it rises n stays dere faster den it drops gradually...

It's like a tag of war but it's a 1-sided battle...

Now I'm in e tunnel... It's a gd thing I hav so much time on e train, at least I can blog... Xi ping said she wanted to do e same thing but her trip duration is too short to allow her to do so...

Bloggin for arnd 45 mins is like practicing on e piano for a few mins... It's juz tt u dun sweat while bloggin on e train... But funny, I can sweat while playin e electone... Hmm... Haha... Anyway, e exams r gonna b over so I guess poly50 trainin will start soon... Next week maybe???

I'm still wondering if we r gonna participate as CLS alumni coz nth is confirmed... I guess it's time to ask jia sheng again... As for e girls, hmmm... Rather difficult to find coz most of dem started their uni term ordy...

It's hard to say now... With only a few weeks left for training, I wonder if dis yr, they can make to 3rd... There r a lot of fast runners now, faster n lighter den myself... We may get e 3rd we've been waitin for..

I was thinkin abt my own poly life again... Arh, I shld join Db instead of canoein... It's not tt I dun like canoein but I juz feel tt Db was a better choice to choose... I thought tt e Db ppl r one kind but I guess, u hav to meet dem n mix arnd in person before judging...

But I'm glad I joined PLK... New frens, new activity, new life- a much busier life though... I salute dose tt rowed since their teens... I would hav done e same... If I hav a son, I would get him into Db too... The same team, PLK... I always hope tt I hav a son or sons... I juz dun like daughters... They r not always tt sensible or filial...

But always so emotional, sensitive n worrisome... I'm surprise tt dere's e word worrisome... The phone autocorrected my spellin... Haha...

N u noe wat, 2day is e last day of exams for my poly frens... Haha... It's gonna b e start of spending money on dinners n travels on e mrt... Haha...

I've reached Dover n now I'm waiting for e shuttle bus... Lookin up to e met station, I saw bao ren... Haha... Readin his notes in hand while walkin... Oh, listening to lucifer by shinee, I juz rmbed I haven added e MTV into my iPod...

I guess I end work early so ya... Oh, back to e topic,haha... Tt was a long side track... It's no longer a side track... It's more to a separate post... My sec guilt was tt I ate potato chips... N trust mi, I've not touched chips for a very very long time... Even in poly, when Cherie they all bought e chips to share, I didn't even take a single 1 to eat...

I guess I juz broke e record... Haiz... Next guilt is eatin sweets... I'm so totally not suppose to eat sweets but I spurge on dem while in Macau... Haha... I even brought a small container of it hm...

Last but not least, I feel so disappointed tt I didn't had e will to run ltr in e evenin... I noe my calf muscles r aching n tt if I run ltr, it would juz b a timeless run... But still, at least I'm workin out rite... I told myself tt I wouldn't b able to run tml coz of e open hse but I guess, my resolve is not strong enuff...

Okiz, I hope I dun become fat again with all dose guilts piling up.., haha... Some asked mi to enjoy while it last coz I'm enterin army soon but I juz hope I wouldn't hav to start...

Okiz, xtreme long post... Hope u enjoy readin it cox my eyes r hurting to type it... I nid to rest my eyes now... Thks for readin n take cares...